One Last Lesson
by GondorQueen
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi says goodbye to his master Qui-Gon Jinn


5

Timeline: Episode I  
Note: I wrote this little story way back in 1999 after seeing Episode I for the first time.

Thanks: Special thanks to Melanie Heller and Nimoloth for beta-reading!

Disclaimer: The _Star Wars_ characters are owned by George Lucas, Lucasfilm and 20th Century Fox. No copyright infringement was intended by using the characters, it's just fun to write about them.

**One Last Lesson**

Obi-Wan stood alone at the window of his quarters in a remote tract of the royal palace in Theed. Darkness was lying like a blanket over the capital of Naboo. The city had been filled with activity before when the preparations for the victory celebration were made. Now silence spread over Theed as the city came to rest. A soft breeze carried the silent murmuring of the waterfalls to his ears. The twinkling stars appeared and together with the lights of the dwellings they added to the peaceful atmosphere.

His hands hiding in the wide Jedi robe, Obi-Wan thoughtfully looked up into the darkness of the infinite sky. He pondered his conversation with master Yoda, from which he had just returned. The Council had elevated him to the rank of a Jedi Knight. Obi-Wan had been looking forward to starting this new chapter of his life. He had prepared himself for the tests he would have to face, as Qui-Gon had advised. Now, he had reached his goal, he had left his Padawan status behind him, but he could not feel happy about it. Never had he thought that the price would be that high.

The ritual burning of his Master would take place in only a few hours. Until then, Obi-Wan had two things to do. He took the dagger that lay on the windowsill in front of him. The starlight beautifully reflected on its blade just as if the stars themselves wanted to encourage him. Finally, Obi-Wan grabbed the long Padawan's braid, his fingers moved a last time over its length, caressing it, and then he cut it off with a swift movement. Obi-Wan rolled the last sign of his status as an apprentice carefully into a small ball, and hid it in a secret pocket inside his robe. It was a pity that he had to do this last step alone, but what lay in front of him now would be far more difficult. Obi-Wan pulled the hood of his robe over his head. He did not want anyone to speak to him, or even see his face. Reluctantly he made his way to the temple district.

Without a sound, Obi-Wan entered the open temple where his Master lay in state. As he approached, he saw two royal guards who were paying their last respects to Qui-Gon Jinn. Recognizing the hooded figure, they silently left the temple. They did not want to disturb Obi-Wan while he was saying good-bye to his former Master.

When he reached the body, Obi-Wan removed his hood. The light of torches covered the fallen Jedi with an eerie, golden light.

Everything seemed to be so peaceful. The noble features of Qui-Gon were relaxed, as if he were asleep or deeply in meditation. Nothing hinted at the pain of the last battle. Obi-Wan slowly raised his hand and tenderly ran his fingers over Qui-Gon's face, then he touched his hair.

_Just as if he would open his eyes any second and ask me why I intrude upon his meditation..._

But Obi-Wan knew better. Qui-Gon's corpse had been clad in his dark robe, his hands were folded over his breast. That way, the lethal wound which he had received from the Sith was hidden.

Again and again, Obi-Wan heard that terrible sound produced by a lightsaber tearing through cloth, and then through flesh and bone. He had heard it over the vibrating hum of the laser barriers that were separating him from his Master. Again and again he saw his Master fall in front of his inner eye. The vision haunted him mercilessly. A punch to his face, the lightsaber falls - this is all the Sith needs. He drives the blade of his lightsaber into Qui-Gon's body. Suddenly, there is this terrible silence, finally broken by a scream: "NO!"

The expression on Qui-Gon's face - this mixture of shock, pain, and disbelief. Obi-Wan sees his Master fall to his knees, drop backwards, and lie motionless on the floor. Obi-Wan wants to storm his foe immediately, to kill this murderous fiend with the tattooed face. Anger rises in him threateningly. Obi-Wan cannot control the anger he feels, and he does not care what Master Yoda, or his own Master, have taught him.

_Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to the Dark Side. _

Anger is the only thing Obi-Wan feels at that moment, witnessing his Master being cut down, seeing the sneering grin of the Sith. The certainty that it is too late to save his friend transforms his anger into cold, dark hatred. Hatred that gives him speed and abilities he had not thought possible.

It was this hatred that had finally enabled him to defeat his superior opponent. The only reason why Obi-Wan had been able to beat Darth Maul was that he fought fire with fire. He had felt the touch of the Dark Side, it had been palpable - and seductive.

Obi-Wan had broken the codex, had willingly ignored its teachings. He knew that he had failed in this situation. Therefore, it seemed like a terrible irony that he had been declared a Jedi Knight in acknowledgment of his victory.

"Yes, Master. They made me a Jedi Knight," he addressed the unmoving Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan laughed gently. He could not feel happy. His Master was not able to witness his pupil's success. Obi-Wan asked himself whether Qui-Gon would have been proud of his Padawan under these circumstances. Qui-Gon had always been proud of Obi-Wan's achievements.

Very often, the young Padawan had dreamt of becoming a Jedi Knight and wished impatiently for the moment when he would finally face the trials. Now he was standing here and wished his mentor could be at his side again. Qui-Gon had said that he could not teach Obi-Wan much more but Obi-Wan knew that this was not true. There was so much Qui-Gon could have taught him. Obi-Wan realized this - now, that it was too late.

Instinctively, he touched the place where his braid had been. He retrieved it from the pocket and looked at it. It would have been Qui-Gon's task to cut it off ritually. That was the tradition. How often had Obi-Wan wished for that moment? Especially, when he disagreed with his Master who sometimes drove him mad with his caring for even the lowest of creatures. At that moment he had withdrawn, and dreamt about the moment when he would have passed the trials. Everybody would congratulate him, Qui-Gon would pat him on his shoulder and smile at him like a proud father.

Yes, that was how it had been in his dreams. Instead, he stood here, and wished he could turn back time and be a Padawan once again.

Suddenly, Anakin came to his mind. Obi-Wan was not able to feel the same sympathy for the boy as Qui-Gon had. Nevertheless, he had forced his will onto the Jedi Council, especially Master Yoda. The voice of the old Jedi Master reverberated in Obi-Wan's head.

_Qui-Gon's defiance I sense in you. Need that you do not._

Wise Yoda was right. Qui-Gon's personality had rubbed off on Obi-Wan over the years. Obi-Wan was even able to understand Yoda's fears. He himself had been against training the boy. He vividly remembered his last argument with his Master, his shaken trust, and the disappointment because Qui-Gon wanted to make Anakin his Padawan. His Master had willingly taken into account that he would hurt his pupil and friend Obi-Wan with this decision. Qui-Gon had always been strong-headed, which eventually had even cost him his seat on the Jedi Council.

What irony - now he himself would train Anakin. Obi-Wan respected his Master's last wish and would have gone to any length to fulfill it. Even though he himself had warned Qui-Gon about the boy.

"I will keep my promise, Master. Anakin will become a Jedi."

His doubts remained. Obi-Wan suddenly felt so young and inexperienced. He had no idea whether he was up to the task he had set himself. Qui-Gon had been with him all the time since he had accepted him as his Padawan and they had left the temple together. He had ruled his life since then, had told him what to do and how he should do it. Qui-Gon had indeed encouraged him to be independent and self-confident in his decisions and actions, but the Jedi Master's advice and wisdom had always been welcome. So Obi-Wan had always done what Qui-Gon told him, even when he had disagreed. Qui-Gon had accompanied him on his journey to become a Jedi and had played different roles in Obi-Wan's life: teacher, father figure… and friend. When Qui-Gon finally needed his help, he had failed him.

Never before had he felt so alone. His Master was not with him anymore.

The finality of this thought, and the realization that Qui-Gon was gone forever, hit him with full force. He had managed to keep his feelings under control but now he gave up the struggle and let the wave of grief wash over him. He abandoned the last vestiges of self-control and sank to his knees.

"Forgive me, Master." His voice failed him. Obi-Wan did not even try to hold back his tears. He cried because he had not been there in time to save his Master. He mourned the time that he could not spend with him anymore. He felt the emptiness the death of his friend left in him, in his life. Obi-Wan thought that he was not up to the challenge of his future assignment.

Suddenly, he felt that he was no longer alone. Afraid that a stranger might see him like this, he sprang to his feet. A Jedi was expected to control his emotions, not to be controlled by them. Even in a situation like this. Angrily, he wiped his face with the sleeve of his robe and turned around.

No one was there. Astounded, Obi-Wan looked around, then shook his head. After all that had happened, he should not be surprised that his mind played tricks on him.

He looked back at his Master's motionless figure. Again, he touched his mentor's cold forehead.

"What now, Master - without you?"

_You should know better, my young Padawan._

Obi-Wan yanked back his hand as if he had caught an electric shock. He wheeled around again.

"Master?" The word hung in the air. His hand hovered over Qui-Gon's lightsaber, which was hanging from his belt now. He looked around, searching.

_Have you already forgotten everything I taught you?_

There was no doubt now. Obi-Wan was able to hear his Master's voice speaking clearly in his mind.

"What do you mean, Master?" He threw the question into the room, doubting his own perception.

_Turn round._

Obi-Wan turned towards the corpse again, and halfway expected Qui-Gon to sit there as if nothing had happened at all. But nothing had changed. Again, he heard the familiar voice.

_What do you see?_

"I don't understand..."

_What do you see there, on that catafalque?_

Obi-Wan stepped closer, not sure what the voice wanted to hear. "I see you, Master." His throat tightened.

_No. What do you see?_

Obi-Wan did not answer. A tear ran down his cheek because he could not answer the question.

_One last lesson which remains to be taught, my young pupil._

Suddenly, Obi-Wan felt the touch of a comforting hand on his shoulder. He turned around again, and this time could not believe what he saw. At his side stood Qui-Gon, a shimmering specter through which the room's outlines were visible. It took a moment before Obi-Wan found his voice again.

"Is it really you, Master?"

The specter gave him a smile.

_Yes and no_.

Obi-Wan saw the figure walk to the other side of the catafalque. Then it looked at Obi-Wan.

_Remember what you learned, my young apprentice._

Suddenly, it dawned upon Obi-Wan what Qui-Gon was trying to tell him. The Jedi Code was the first thing taught at the Jedi Temple. In a low voice, he recited the last sentence. "There is no death. There is the Force." He had rattled off the sentence so often, but only now did he completely realize its full meaning. Now, that he had to cope with the loss of a close friend.

Qui-Gon nodded as he saw the understanding on his pupil's face.

_What you see is just an empty shell_.

The specter vanished, and appeared again at Obi-Wan's side. He stepped close to the young Jedi and looked into his eyes.

_Didn't I tell you that I would always be with you?_

Obi-Wan just nodded. Again, he was close to tears.

Qui-Gon nodded, too.

_I'll tell you again_. He raised his translucent hand to the height of Obi-Wan's heart. _I will be with you, always. Here... _Obi-Wan felt a warm light spread out and drive away the shadows from his soul. Qui-Gon's hand moved higher until his fingertips almost touched the top of his head _...and here_. Again, the warm light filled him with understanding and optimism.

_Do not let yourself be ruled by your grief, Obi-Wan. Give it only as much power over you as it deserves. No emotion is wrong. There are only wrong ways of dealing with them_.

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan answered in awe. Qui-Gon smiled at him encouragingly.

_You will give your best and make the boy a Jedi._

"It is such a big responsibility. What if I fail?"

_To be a Jedi does not mean that you do not make mistakes. No one except yourself demands that from you._

Qui-Gon ran his fingers over Obi-Wan's cheek. Obi-Wan felt a warm tingling sensation. They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment, then Qui-Gon nodded again.

_It is time for me to go._

"I know, Master," Obi-Wan whispered in a low voice. Suddenly, he wanted to say so much but no words escaped his lips. Finally, he raised his hand. Qui-Gon did the same until their fingertips seemed to meet. One last time the mental link between them flared up brightly. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and completely concentrated upon this last simple farewell gesture. He would treasure this moment in his heart forever.

_We will meet again. When your time has come, I will wait for you. Until then, may the Force guide you, my young Padawan._

Obi-Wan was not able to tell how long he had stood with his eyes closed. Finally, he opened them again.

Qui-Gon was gone. He was on his own again. The grief about the parting remained but he knew that his Master would be with him always, and that they would be together again one day. Qui-Gon was right. He had to let go and concentrate on the here and now - as Qui-Gon had told him over and over again. He had a task to accomplish, the training of young Anakin would demand all his attention now. Qui-Gon had found peace, he was one with the Force.

Obi-Wan stepped up to the catafalque for the last time and laid his Padawan's braid into the right hand of the corpse, not without tracing its length with his fingertips one last time.

"I thank you, Master. For everything you have taught me, and for this one last lesson."

Then he turned his back on the remains of his past life and left. He knew that somewhere Qui-Gon was smiling now.

The End 


End file.
